The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 683: The Faculty (1998), Robert Rodriguez, and Alien Invasions
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
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Mark and Zanandi discuss the 1998 sci-fi horror film The Faculty. Directed by Robert Rodriguez and starring Josh Hartnett, Clea DuVall, Elijah Wood, Jordana Brewster, and hundreds of water-loving aliens, the movie focuses on what happens when a space parasite infiltrates an Ohio high school. In this episode, they also talk about drug tests, water jugs, and the excellence of Robert Rodriguez. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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Shelter (2026) – Review
Quick Thoughts:
- Director Ric Roman Waugh (Shot Caller, Snitch, Greenland 1 & 2) has crafted a mature action film that features excellent performances, solid set pieces, and neat visuals.
- Message for movie villains – don’t mess with Jason Statham. It’s not worth it. Leave him alone.
- Between Shelter, The Meg, Homefront, Safe, and The Fate of the Furious, Jason Statham is good with kids.
- Cardigan Statham (Blitz, The Mechanic, Wrath of Man) means trouble.
- Bodhi Rae Breathnach (Hamnet) is really good.
- I know the action scenes were necessary for funding, but I’d watch Statham walk around an island for 90 minutes.
- Bill Nighy should yell “Damn it, Roberta!” in all of his films.
Between Shot Caller, Snitch, Kandahar, and the Greenland films, director Ric Roman Waugh has specialized in placing “ordinary people under extraordinary stress.” Which is why it’s interesting watching him helm a movie in which an extraordinary man beats up trained professionals. What’s nice about Shelter is that the rough edges of the Jason Statham-led A Working Man and Wrath of Man have been replaced with a more grounded feel and some genuine emotion that are staples of films directed by Waugh (think Greenland, a movie that focuses on a family trying to survive an apocalypse). Shelter isn’t a nasty piece of revenge fantasy filled with tough-talking blokes; it’s a well-crafted and mature action film made by a director and actor who know they are making an action vehicle for an action star, but wanted to add a little emotion into the mix.
The plot revolves around an elite operative named Mason (Jason Statham), leaving his solitary (and peaceful) life on an isolated Scottish lighthouse island so he can kill dozens of overmatched villains. Mason moved to the island 10 years prior after a botched mission, and he spends his days drinking vodka, wearing comfy cardigans, playing chess, and talking to his well-trained dog. He receives his supplies from a former military buddy, who has his niece Jesse (Bodhi Rae Breathnach – very good) deliver packages to the island’s dockhouse. His boring life is interrupted when Jesse’s rowboat capsizes during a storm, which forces Mason to save her from the roaring sea (the uncle drowns). Since Jesse has no family (and Mason can’t go to the mainland), he keeps her on the island where he takes care of her injuries and feeds her bland porridge. When her injuries become infected, Mason goes to the mainland, where his face is filmed when he walks behind a group of livestreaming tourists. That night, a group of mercenaries foolishly travel to the island and are picked off by rock traps, rope traps, and a deadly oar. The battle forces Mason and Jesse to leave the safety of the island and brave the dangers of the mainland while being hunted by characters played by Bill Nighy, Naomi Ackie, and Bryan Vigier (whose stuntman background brings welcome physicality to his fights with Statham).
There’s a standout car chase scene that takes place on a bumpy country road that feels exhilaratingly real in that it showcases actual cars bouncing around dirt roads. Before he became a director, Waugh worked in the industry as a stuntman and stunt coordinator (check out his IMDb page), so it’s no surprise that the action scenes are grounded and believable. The editing by Matthew Newman (Drive, Only God Forgives) is solid, and Waugh’s regular contributors, David Buckley (Composer), Martin Ahlgren (Cinematographer), Tim Blake (production designer), and Brandon Boyea (producer), all made sure the action film hits on all cylinders.
The only thing working against the box office prospects of Shelter is that it’s a maturely crafted film that never leans into spectacle or bombast. Shelter isn’t as violent as The Beekeeper, A Working Man, and Wrath of Man, or as propulsive as Crank, The Transporter, and Hobbs and Shaw, which means it most likely won’t become a cult classic or huge hit. However, I think it will play well on streaming channels because there’s something comforting about the violent proceedings.
Final Thoughts – It makes me very happy that the film currently has a 74% Tomatometer score (as of 01/29) because it’s a well-crafted action flick that features solid performances, likable characters and an emotional core.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 682 – Bones and All (2022), Taylor Russell, and Romantic Horror Films
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and David Corse (@itsmedavidcorse.bsky.social) discuss the 2022 romantic horror film Bones and All. Directed by Luca Guadagnino, and starring Taylor Russell, Timothée Chalamet, Mark Rylance, and a gross hair rope, the movie focuses on what happens when two cannibals go on a cross-country road trip. In this episode, they also talk about movie cannibals, creepy villains, and “Cerulean Sky,” David’s new novella.
Buy it here – https://polymathpress.com/products/cerulean-sky-by-david-corseshow less
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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Sound of Falling (2025) – Review
Quick Thoughts
- Director and co-writer Mascha Schilinski has crafted an intimate and haunting film.
- The film is loaded with memorable moments that are beautifully filmed by cinematographer Fabian Gamper.
- It makes me happy knowing that Schilinski created the film’s soundscape by first asking herself “what does a black hole sound like?”
- Sound of Falling is a good title, but I prefer the original title more. The Doctor Says I’ll Be Alright, But I’m Feelin’ Blue, is neat.
- It’s wild that the film was shot in 33 days. There’s an incredible amount of coverage.
Shot in 33 days, in the Altmark region of northern Germany, Sound of Falling is a sensory-blasting experience crafted by director Mascha Schilinski. She and co-writer Louise Peter spent years writing, researching and location scouting to create a “stream of images from all of the people who lived in this same place.” While there is a connected storyline, the nonlinear film relies on snippets of memories that showcase a myriad of memorable moments involving suicide, belly button sweat, and limb loss.
The film opens with a teenager named Erika (Lea Drinda) using crutches to walk through the hallways of a spacious farmhouse. At first, you think she’s had a leg amputated, but she has it tied up so she can understand the sensation of missing a leg (it’s wild). She unbinds her leg and sneaks into a room occupied by her uncle Fritz (Martin Rother), a bedridden amputee who forcefully had his leg cut off to avoid being drafted into World War 1(we learn this later). It’s hot in the home, and Erika watches drops of sweat make their way to his belly button. In an unexpected twist, Erika sticks her finger into his belly button and tastes the belly button sweat. After tasting the sweat, she runs down to help her brother in the courtyard, who had been yelling her name during her sweat-tasting dalliance. The scene ends with Fritz watching her through his bedroom window as she gets slapped by her annoyed father.
From there, we follow Erika, Alma (Hanna Hekt), Angelika (Lena Urzendowsky), and Lenka (Laeni Geiseler), whose stories take place in the same farmhouse. The location stays the same, but the characters come and go as the decades roll on (1910s, 1940s, 1980s, 2020s). The house (and its ghosts) observe these women as they deal with trauma, sexual awakenings, painful falls, terrible uncles, suicidal thoughts, blurry photos, and shoeless runs through wheat fields that result in dozens of open wounds.
The first image that Schilinski had in mind before writing the screenplay was of someone looking into the sun and closing their eyes, and “there’s this orange, wavy flickering thing, a pre-ancestor picture.” It’s admirable that Schilinski crafted a film that sets out to recreate an orange, wavy-flickering thing. The most admirable aspects of Sound of Falling are the little details that make the film feel real and lived in. Whether it’s the way a grandma’s hand skin stays in place when squeezed, or how a mom winks at her children to tell them she loves them.
The voyeuristic cinematography by Fabian Gamper is outstanding. The 1.37:1 (4:3) aspect ratio was a nice choice as it adds a claustrophobic vibe to the sprawling farmhouse. Gamper used the lightweight ARRI Alexa Mini and Sony FX6 cameras to stay mobile, which allowed the cameras to act like ghosts watching the goings-on of the household. The Sony FX6 is also ideal for low-light situations, this was handy in the dark barns and candlelit rooms. There are some beautiful visuals in The Sound of Falling, and it’s neat knowing that the filmmakers were deeply influenced by photographer Francesca Woodman.
Final thoughts –Sound of Falling is expertly crafted and will linger in your memory.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 681: Evil Dead (1981), Bruce Campbell, and Sam Raimi
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and John discuss the 1981 horror comedy Evil Dead. Directed by Sam Raimi, and starring Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, and an evil book, the movie focuses on what happens when several Michigan State University students have a terrible time in an isolated cabin. In this episode, they also talk about short films, creative fundraising, and deadly shovels. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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John’s Horror Corner: Together (2025), a wonderfully tense yet touching “couples therapy” and body horror film.
MY CALL: Outstanding performances, writing and direction accompanied by some off-putting, awkward, and occasionally really gross body horror effects make this a film to move to the top of your queue. Easily my #1 horror movie of 2025! MOVIES LIKE Together: For more “couples therapy” horror, consider Return of the Living Dead part 3 (1993), Antichrist (2009), Honeymoon (2014), Spring (2015), Vivarium (2019) or Companion (2025).
Hesitant to abscond the big city for life out in the country, Tim’s (Dave Franco; director of The Rental) relationship with Millie (Alison Brie; Promising Young Woman, Scre4m, The Rental) is tenuous at best. They are making major changes in which only one of them is confident. Trying to make the best of this tense transition, a brisk nature hike in the woods takes a bad turn when they fall into an underground cavern during a storm and are exposed to… something. As moviegoers, we know something is amiss. But this scene is also when they are finally honest and present with one another. Such a shame for them… because now it’s gonna get weird.
Obviously broadcast in the movie trailer, the first sign of their “conjoining” is when their legs nearly fuse together as if two open gashes were pressed together and allowed to dry unto one another. The “hair scene” was unexpectedly unnerving and, frankly, quite shocking. The first “sex scene” was awkwardly painful, but also funny. With each passing unexplained phenomenon, their tension, frustration and distance mount. It seems that physically bonding together can drive a couple apart… and make Tim mysteriously ill.
As desperate times call for desperate measures (and a saw), things are gonna get messy. And as it does, we continue a rollercoaster yo-yoing between tension and re-bonding emotionally, back and forth, as our couple discovers, faces, endures, and tries to solve this incredibly unnatural relationship problem. Really, this is an excellent relationship horror performance by Franco and Brie. I thought everything about this film was fantastic.
There are some grotesque surprises along the way. Macabre fused-body latex work and gore is featured but not overplayed as a supernatural force literally pulls Tim and Millie towards and into each other. You might go into this expecting something more like The Thing (1982) or Society (1989), but this is closer to The Substance (2024) if The Substance wasn’t occasionally trying to make you uncomfortably vomit—it’s also rather touching. Throw in some way zany religious-culty babble and an unconventional story of falling back in love, and we have Together. Quite the conquest for the first feature film of writer/director Michael Shanks.
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Dead Man’s Wire (2025) – Review
Quick Thoughts:
- Bill Skarsgård is fantastic. I love his motor-mouthed theatrics.
- I love when Gus Van Sant tackles a real-life story (which is most of the time).
- Cary Elwes looks great with a beard.
- The 103 producer credits has to be a record.
- Van Sant only had five weeks to prepare the film, so it’s a miracle that it’s such a tight and well-executed experience.
After watching Nicole Kidman (To Die For), Sean Penn (Milk), River Phoenix (My Own Private Idaho), Robin Williams (Good Will Hunting), and Kelly Lynch/Matt Dillon (Drugstore Cowboy) delivering career-defining performances in films directed by Gus Van Sant, it must’ve been an easy decision for Bill Skarsgård to sign on for Dead Man’s Wire. It also helps that Van Sant is no stranger to successfully tackling real events (or fictionalized accounts of real events), and has a knack for figuring out what makes people do what they do.
Shot over 19 days in Louisville, Kentucky, Dead Man’s Wire tells the story of Tony Kiritsis (Bill Skarsgård), a blue-collar Hoosier (lives in Indiana), who kidnaps Richard “Dick” Hall (Dacre Montgomery) an executive at the Meridian Mortgage Company owned by Dick’s father M.L. Hall (Al Pacino – who filmed all of his scenes in one day). Tony’s original plan was to kidnap the elder Hall and drive him back to his booby-trapped apartment building, where he’d hold him hostage. However, when he learned that the elder Hall was on vacation, he attached a sawed-off shotgun and wire to Dick’s body (a “dead man’s wire”) and the two began a 63-hour marathon of chaos that concluded with nationally televised press conference that made jouranlists reevaluate the ethics of live coverage (and won John Blair a Pulitzer Prize for an inconic photo he took).
Kiritsis has a beef with Meridian because they cheated him out of valuable land that was perfect for a shopping mall development, and he wants debt forgiveness and an apology. To raise awareness of his grievances, Kiritsis calls the cops and local radio DJ Fred Temple (Colman Domingo – who filmed all his scenes in two days) and unleashes motor-mouthed tirades about how and why Meridian Mortgage Company mistreated him. During the hostage crisis, Kiritsis talks with detective Michael Grable (Cary Elwes – who is almost unrecognizable behind a beard and wonky American accent), who knows Kiritsis and wants to make sure nobody is harmed during the situation.
Van Sant signed up for the film because it had a “real barnstorming energy,” and it became much more energetic when Skarsgård showed up and imbued comedic energy into the motor-mouthed Kiritsis. It’s fun watching Skarsgård constantly apologize, act crazy, and say things like “Why don’t you wash my ass, father, it’s Tuesday, not Sunday.” You’ll have a good time watching the slim 35-year-old Swedish actor channel the personality of a beefy 45-year-old Hoosier who rocked some serious sideburns. To prepare for the role, Skarsgard listened to the 911 calls and found out that Kiritsis was “quite funny,” which allowed him to enter a flow state on set. You can tell that he loves the spontaneity of the character and you can almost feel the energy coming off of him when he says, “do you like ice in your milk?”
The performances from Skarsgård, Domingo, Montgomery, Elwes and Myha’la (who plays a news reporter) are all solid, which shouldn’t be a surprise because Van Sant always gets solid performances from his actors. The cinematography by Arnaud Potier (Skin, Argo Dr1ft) does a fine job of capturing 1970s realism by using refurbished broadcast cameras and 360-degree lighting, which allowed the actors freedom to roam. Finally, the costume design by Peggy Schnitzer (Killer Joe, Elvis and Nixon, Bug) is perfect, and I like knowing that Skarsgård had to wear his green shirt every day because she could only find one, and Van Sant didn’t like the replicas she created.
Final Thoughts – If you’re in the mood for an effective thriller that features committed performances, I totally recommend Dead Man’s Wire.
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28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) – Review
Quick thoughts:
- It is brutal, funny, and unpredictable.
- Erin Kellyman, Ralph Fiennes, and Jack O’Connell are really good.
- It’s not as propulsive as the other films in the franchise (which isn’t a bad thing).
- Excellent wide shots that lead to some very funny moments
- If you are expecting a 28 Weeks Later experience that is loaded with rage-infected chaos, you won’t get it. The Bone Temple is a different beast.
- Director Nia DaCosta summed the film up perfectly by describing it as a blend of beauty and brutality.
Directed by Nia DaCosta, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple is a gift from the movie gods in that it’s audacious, funny, brutal, and confident enough to be different from prior entries. While many may dislike the dearth of “zombie” mayhem, I appreciated that writer Alex Garland and DaCosta scaled back to focus on two unique groups of characters.
In case you need a reminder, the Danny Boyle directed 28 Years Later (2025), ended with a nice kid named Spike (Alfie Williams), leaving the safety of Dr. Ian Kelson’s (Raple Fiennes) bone sanctuary to drop off a baby (that was birthed by a rage-infected woman) to his home island of Lindisfarne (where he grew up). After leaving the baby at the village gate, he goes off on his own and is “saved” by a gang of acrobatic murderers who kill rage-infected humans for fun. This is where 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple begins.
The tracksuit-wearing maniacs are led by a Satanist named Sir Jimmy Lord Crystal (Jack O’Connell). Lord Crystal’s gang is made up of Jimmy Ink (Erin Kellyman – perfect), Jimmima (Emma Laird – unhinged), Jimmy Jones (Maura Bird), Jimmy Snake (Ghazi Al Ruffai), and Jimmy Fox (Sam Locke). To get into the elite gang, Spike had to battle one of the gang members, and after a lucky leg stab that hits an artery (and a well-timed pantsing), Spike is inducted into the death squad. Before you can say “free jumping,” the gang infiltrates a compound and introduces the human survivors to an extremely brutal variation of “charity.”
Dr. Ian Kelson (Ralph Fiennes – great) is still doing his bone temple thing, and he starts a unique friendship with Samson (Chi Lewis-Parry – who does a fine job adding depth to his oft-naked character), the local Alpha-infected who has taken a liking to Kelson’s morphine darts. The two sit (and occasionally dance) around Kelson’s skull oasis and admire the picturesque British landscape while they enjoy the effects of Kelson’s dwindling morphine supply. Kelson’s goal is to see if any humanity is left with Samson, who seems to enjoy the peace that comes from catching a drugged dart to the neck. It’s during these scenes that DaCosta and cinematographer Sean Bobbitt (who also shot DaCosta’s film Hedda) work wonders as they employ wide shots that lead to poignant moments that are very funny (there’s something great about watching Kelson and Samson sitting peacefully together). As expected, Fiennes is pitch-perfect, and it’s neat how he found humanity in a man who has created a bone temple. In interviews, he describes Kelson as having “extraordinary psychological stamina,” and I think the term perfectly encapsulates a character with an exceptionally “strong interior.”
Everything leads to a showdown at Kelson’s bone temple that involves stab wounds, funny moments, and an Iron Maiden song. If you can, avoid spoilers because the finale is best experienced with little knowledge of the results. What I can say is that I love how Garland and DaCosta steered away from marauding rage-infected hoards and turned towards a smaller story that is intimate, daring, and audacious. Like the other films in the franchise, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple is a brutal affair that features blood-spitting, severed heads, skinned flesh, and stab wounds that ooze pints of dark red blood.
Ralph Fiennes and Jack O’Connell are pitch-perfect, and I was most pleased with Erin Kellyman’s (Willow, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Solo: A Star Wars Story) performance as Jimmy Ink, a knife-wielding badass who is also deadpan hilarious (is that yelling?). Kellyman put a lot of work into her character, and it shows because Jimmy Ink is a trauma-laden survivor who has stayed alive by glazing over, dissociating and murdering many rage-infected people. Emma Laird’s (The Brutalist) character Jimmina stands out because she’s the most unhinged murderer in a gang of unhinged murderers. Between dancing like a Teletubbie (fun callback to 28 Years Later) or knife-fighting in a barn, Jimmima is scarier than any rage-infected maniac.
I love 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple because it is self-assured, unpredictable and fun. If you’re looking for 28 Weeks Later levels of mayhem, you’ll be disappointed, but I really hope that audiences embrace the chaos. Excellent work Nia DaCosta and Alex Garland.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 680: Star Trek Into Darkness (2013), Prime Directives, and KHAN!!!!!!!!
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
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Mark and Niall continue their Star Trek franchise discussion by talking about the 2013 blockbuster Star Trek Into Darkness. Directed by J.J. Abrams, and starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldaña, and Benedict “Definitely Not Khan” Cumberbatch, the movie focuses on what happens when the Enterprise crew battle a super soldier named John Harrison. In this episode, they also talk about plot twists, fist fights, and radioactive reactor chambers. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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The 2025 Random Awards! Celebrating the Best Moments of 2025
The 2025 random awards are here! I love handing out random awards to cool movies, and 2025 was loaded with a plethora of cool movies. Before I get into the random awards, here are my five favorite films of 2025 (I cheated a bit).
- Eephus
- Baby Assassins 3
- Resurrection
- Hot Spring Shark Attack
- Tied – 28 Years Later, Black Bag, Reflection of a Dead Diamond, Jane Austen Wrecked My Life, Sorry, Baby, The Empire, Kpop: Demon Hunters, 40 Acres, Sirat, Diablo, Warfare, Sinners, Nouvelle Vague, Splitsville, The Long Walk, The Ballad of Wallis Island, No Other Choice, Sisu: Road to Revenge, Best Wishes to All, Beast of War, Train Dreams, A Little Prayer, Dangerous Animals, Presence, The Phoenican Scheme, One Battle After Another, Familiar Touch, The Naked Gun, Companion, It Was Just an Accident, F1, Deathstalker, The Secret Agent, Predator: Badlands, and Good Boy.
My favorite 2025 performances
- Jane Levy – A Little Prayer
- David Jonsson – The Long Walk
- Marko Zaror – Diablo
- Sophie Thatcher – Companion
- Benicio del Toro – One Battle After Another
- Dylan O’Brien – Twinless
- Kathleen Chalfant – Familiar Touch
- Lee Byung-hun – No Other Choice
- Marisa Abela – Black Bag
Enjoy the awards!
Best Usage of the Word “Why?” Award – Play Dirty is not a good film, but it does feature a very funny moment involving a lady saying “Why?”
Best Google Spreadsheets Award – The Wedding Banquet knows that spreadsheets are very important. I love when Google spreadsheets are mentioned because I’ve created many of them.
Least Ominous Skull Tower Award – There’s nothing better than expecting an ominous skull tower, and then realizing it’s actually a beautiful monument. 28 Years Later rules.
Best House Fight That Ends With an Exploding Fish Tank Award – Splitsville features a beautiful house fight that reminded me of the They Live brawl.
Best Grenade Fight Award – Watching Ana de Armas use grenades to destroy dozens of henchmen made me very happy. It’s an explosive scene.
It’s Nice Seeing the Lady from The Dark and the Wicked Playing a Successful and Happy Character Award – It’s nice seeing Marin Ireland have a nice life and not have to worry about an evil demon.
Best Backstory Conceived By an Improv Actor Award – Orlando Bloom deserves an Oscar nomination for his work in Deep Cover.
Best Mouse Trap on a Train Award – Sisu: Road to Revenge might be my favorite 2025 action film. It’s absurd, silly, violent, cheeky, loaded with gore, and absurdly silly violent.
Best Foosball Related Death – Reflections in a Dead Diamond features an incredible restaurant battle.
Best Tummy Punch Award – Watching Liam Neeson punching Danny Huston in the stomach will never get old. Tummy punches hurt a lot, I’m happy The Naked Gun showcased the pain.
Best Camera Stuffed Inside a Person’s Head Award – Resurrection is a movie made by a person who loves movies. Watch it!
Best Crying By An Actor Who Appeared in Alien: Covenant Award – Billy Crudup sheds some wonderful tears in Jay Kelly.
Most Emotionally Mature Conversation Between Sisters Award – Sentimental Value might be one of the most emotionally mature movies ever made.
Best Kindred Spirits Award – Jane Levy and David Stratharin are wonderful together in A Little Prayer.
Best Hangout Movie Award – Nouvelle Vague is proof that Richard Linklater is the ultimate hangout movie director.
Watch Out for Canadian Cannibals Award – 40 Acres is a fun action film and I’d happily watch Daniel Deadwyler kill more Canadian cannibals.
Best Line Readings Award – Benicio del Toro is perfect in One Battle After Another and The Phoenician Scheme.
Best Opening Credits Award – I’m a big fan of ballsy Marty Supreme opening credits.
Best Plane Ride Taken By a Lumberjack Award – Train Dreams is one of my favorite 2025 films. It builds towards a beautiful ending.
Don’t Drink The Water Award – If you find yourself stuck in a cave, please don’t drink magical water. Together is wonderful.
Best French Alien Decapitation Award – The Empire is insane, and I hope Bruno Dumont makes more sci-fi films that take place in coastal French cities.
Edith is the Cool Sister Now Award – I’m telling you, Edith is way cooler than Lady Mary and she proves it in Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale.
Best Eating of Submarine Sandwiches in a Submarine Award – Hot Spring Shark Attack is perfect – watch it.
Tron: Ares is a Good Time Award – This isn’t a random award, but I love Tron: Ares and I want more people to watch it. Get over yourself and enjoy a fun chase film.
Best Tapeworm Award – The Ugly Stepsister features some excellent tapeworm pulling.
Best Fat Man Stealing Second Base While the Sun Sets Award – Eephus is my favorite 2025 film.
Best Trudging Around the Scottish Countryside Award – I enjoyed watching Kōki trudge through the Scottish countryside in Tornado. It makes it better knowing that Tim Roth was trudging behind her.
Best Problems on Problems on Problems Award – If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a stressfest. Watching Rose Byrne deal with water damage, a sick kid, an absent husband and a maniac hamster is fun (but also stressful).
Best Jogging Award – Brad Pitt is an A + jogger. I love F1: The Movie.
Best Dad Speech Award – Pruitt Taylor Vince is a super dad in Superman.
Best Casting for a Movie About Walking Award – The Long Walk features the best ensemble of any 2025 movie.
Best Meth Gator Award – The Bayou isn’t great, but it features meth-crazed alligators eating people – which is neat.
Best Moment That You Can’t Talk About Because It Would Spoil a Movie But You Really Want to Talk About it Award – Sirat is awesome.
Best Lifting of a Potted Plant Award – Lee Byung-hun carries No Other Choice on his shoulders, and he also gets a solid shoulder workout when he picks up a heavy potted plant.
Best Airplane Action Scene Involving Demons and a Kpop band Award – I love when Kpop bands fight demons. Kpop Demon Hunters rules.
Stop Messing With Scott Adkins Award – Listen y’all, stop messing with Scott Adkins. He kicks some butt in Prisoner of War.
Best “Brighest Tool in the Shed” Award – Twinless is wonderful, and I hope Dylan O’Brien wins many awards.
Best Severed Leg Award – The Secret Agent gives a severed leg a lot of screen time, and I like it.
Best Safety Trunk Award – Shadow Force features an A+ safety trunk.
Best Car Shop Improv Award – The Baltimorons is a melancholic delight that proves you can have an improv show anywhere.
Jay Cluitt
- Most normal child with nothing odd or suspicious about them – Ollie, Bring Her Back
- Best Front-flipping henchmen / toilet fight – Toxic Avenger
- Best Soup slurping – Vincent D’Onofrio, Caught Stealing
- Best use of hills in a car chase – One Battle After Another
- Best jump from a moving train – Sisu 2
Jonny Numb
- The “OK, Boomer” Award: Anthony Hopkins, LOCKED
- Most Awkward First Date Award: THE SHROUDS
- The “Just Give it All the Awards So We Can Stop Talking About it” Award: ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER
- Best 85 Minutes of Pure Escapism from Our Current Hellscape Award: THE NAKED GUN
Joey L.
- Best Cat: Sorry, Baby
- Best Dog: Superman
- Best Unexpected Christmas Movie: One Battle After Another
- Most Hot Dogs: Weapons
- Best Use of Technology: Relay (sorry to M3GAN 2.0)
- Most Tears Cried: Hamnet
- Uncuttiest Gemsiest Movie: If I Had Legs I’d Kick You
- Most Delightful (or: Movie Most Made for Me): A Big Bold Beautiful Journey
Aaron Neuwirth
- Worst Sequel When it Comes To Removing a Key Aspect of the First Film: Ice Road: Vengeance
- Most Bang For Your Buck Indie Shark Movie – Hot Springs Shark Attack
- Best Jimmy Olsen – Superman
- Most Unexpected Discovery of a Dead Body while Wearing an Animal Costume – On Becoming Guinea Fowl
- Best Proof That Aging Doesn’t Turn You Into a Better Actor – I Know What You Did Last Summer
- Best Side Hustle to Being A Pop Star – KPop Demon Hunters
- Wildest Reason to Learn a New Language – Fantastic Four: First Steps
- Most Creative Monsters Created by a Pre-Teen – Sketch
- Best use of an Electric Saw for Love – Together
- Most Trashed Coffee Cups – The Naked Gun
- Best WTF – Josh Brolin in Weapons
- Best Rap Battle – Highest 2 Lowest
- Worst Feature Length Amazon.com ad – War of the Worlds
- Best Hanging Dong Moment – Splitsville
- Worst Times for Characters To Need to Relieve themselves – Tie – The Long Walk/ Avatar Fire and Ash
- Best Movie to Feature a Ding Dong Getting Bitten Off – Gladiator Underground
- Most Casual Depiction of Being Pinned Down by a Sniper – Under Fire
- The Marge Simpson Award For That Hair Is Just To High – Matt Smith in Caught Stealing
- Best Fall From a Rooftop – One Battle After Another
- Worst Christmas Adventurer – One Battle After Another
- Best Argument for Concussion in Sports – HIM
- Worst Results For Trick r Treating – VHS: Halloween
- The Dogma’s 25th Anniversary Award for Deserving Bigger Wings – Keanu Reeves – Good Fortune
- Best Retro Throwback Scene Based Around Use Out of Date Tech – Tron: Ares
- The Wicker Man Award for Best “Not The Bees” Related Disaster – Bugonia
- Best Secret Apartment – Tie – Secret Mall Apartment / Roofman
- The Hues Corporation’s Rock the Boat Award – Frankenstein
- Worst Human vs. Animal Scene – The Strangers: Chapter 2
- Best Reason to get a gift that says – “I went to Morocco for a rave and all I got was this stupid t-shirt” – Sirat
- Deadliest Grass – Predator: Badlands
- Best Dramatic Menu Read – Jay Kelly
- Best Home Dentistry – No Other Choice
- Best Aquatic Courtoom Scenes – Avatar: Fire and Ash
- Most Quaint Art Museum Robbery – Mastermind
- Best Excuse to Pick up a Copy of Breathless on Criterion 4K – Nouvelle Vague
Megan
- Most Cartilaginous Movie Ever – Hot Spring Shark Attack
- Best Gadget (light stick to jet ski) – TRON: Ares
- MVT: Most Valuable Timber -Sisu: Road to Revenge
- Best Robot Head Scratches – The Fantastic Four: First Steps
- Best Middle of the Night Mouse Murder – Sorry, Baby
- Best Ikea Stool – Sentimental Value
- Best ‘Shining’ Reference in an Animated Disney Movie – Zootopia 2
- Best Generalized Anxiety (not social anxiety) – The Wedding Banquet
- Best Bouquet of Flowers in a Pot – Materialists
- Best Broke Theater Company – Play Dirty
- MVR: Most Valuable Raft – Jurassic World Rebirth
- Best Metal Detector – A Little Prayer
- I want that back award: Best Acid Spitting Snake Bug – Predator: Badlands
- Best Waterslide Fight – Nobody 2
Movies, Films & Flix 